45 Comments
  1. Dee_Buttersnaps says

    I hope he got ripped a new one in those comments and she got some good advice about a succinct, no bullshit way to tell this loser that he has no jurisdiction over her vagina, especially when it comes to her choice of menstrual hygiene products.

    Also, this sort of behavior doesn’t come out of nowhere. I’m guessing there’s other stuff he does that is also controlling/abusive and maybe this is a wake up call she needs to evaluate this relationship.

  2. wastetheafterlife says

    I truly think that before you marry a man you need to see how he reacts to you turning down sex. my boyfriend and I went a solid few months without doing anything, because between mental health things and birth control, I just was not at all in the mood. I felt bad but he straight up was confused when I apologized lmao, he didn’t take it personally.

    I can’t imagine being with someone who couldn’t let me decide what I do or don’t want to do with my body

  3. tumka says

    Ignoring the stupidity of thinking that it gives pleasure to use a diva cup, what a cruel and creepy husband acting like his wife shouldn’t have any sexual pleasure outside of partnered sex and trying to keep score of who is enjoying what the most?? That’s hella controlling.

  4. loreshdw says

    I don’t think it is that he thinks it gives her sexual pleasure. He is punishing her for not having sex.

    “If I can’t put my dick inside, I won’t allow you to use the product of your choice because it goes inside. Your comfort be dammed because I own your pussy.”

  5. oversleeperanon says

    Imagine being so bad at sex you’re threatened by a tampon

  6. coderthememer says

    Homegirl needs to leave him.

  7. jolfi11 says

    Wow what a narcissistic idiot. Can’t even listen to his wife and chucks out expensive belongings of another person without even asking. I could not live with a person like that.

  8. bobfappiano says

    I am so sorry that you are dealing with this while recovering from surgery. This man is 30 years old!!

    I understand how you feel because I don’t like confrontation either. I would get a book about woman’s periods, the kind most of us got when we were going through puberty. Leave it on the table with a note. ‘Darling, I’ll be available to discuss the future of this marriage when you educate yourself about my body. Love, OP’

    PS: I’ve taken all of the toilet paper in the house with me so that you don’t accidentally pleasure yourself while wiping your ass.

    Go stay with a friend. Please.

  9. LincolnClayFace says

    This is genuinely horrifying. Jfc

  10. SvalbarddasKat says

    The hell? That is not how ANY of this works.
    To quote Russel Howard “No woman has ever inserted one [meaning a Tampon] and said ‘Oh I’m spoiling myself’!” (If somebody wants to see the full clip, look up “Tampon Tax – Russel Howard” on YouTube, or ask and I’ll post a link)

  11. FryOneFatManic says

    This is definitely a divorce the ignorant wazzock situation.

  12. Non-mon-xiety says

    What the fuck

  13. iambabytin says

    I hope she bleeds all over his clothes

  14. wastetheafterlife says

    menstrual cups are so annoying to put in, it’s hilarious to me that anyone might think they’re comparable to sex toys

  15. Prestigious_Garden17 says

    Dump him, that kinda stupid doesn’t need to breed

  16. usuallynicedemon says

    What a toxic guy.

  17. Helens_Moaning_Hand says

    Divorce his sorry ass.

  18. neosaggikp says

    How small must his dick be to see tampon as competition.

    Thats keeping aside, that guy is mentally unstable and needs to be divorced.

  19. triplesunrise52 says

    This isn’t a simple misunderstanding. This is malicious, narcissistic control. Didn’t ask, just took. Only concerned about his own self, none for the woman who is supposed to be a partner. I can’t imagine this is the only time he’s been an asshole to her. Home-girl needs to get away, he needs serious psychiatric help. He’s not just an ass, he’s dangerous.

  20. AffectionateAnarchy says

    I just read that, like damn how stupid and heartless

  21. BaneAmesta says

    I have the mighty need to kick his ass.

  22. JohannaGoottila says

    No point of reasoning with the abuser, he will always have an excuse.

  23. angie_i_am says

    I’d carry a towel around and free bleed all over the house. He strikes me as the kind of guy who would be horrified to see menstrual blood. Of course, I’m a fan of “scorched earth” responses to this sort of idiocy.

  24. perpetualstudy says

    Fuck this. Today is not the day. I have had it up to here and I feel ragey for her. This is so fucked up, for all the reasons you guys are saying- not just that he’s uniformed about women’s anatomy.

    My petty is in top form right now. She doesn’t want to confront him, fine. I’d go get another diva cup and tampons and fucking hide them. Then I’d tell him he now needs to sit down to piss, because she doesn’t want him to get extra pleasure holding his dick to pee. And then get shit in order to gtfo. Much easier said than done, I know, but there is no hope for respect from this man, I’m out. I have bpd, self loathing is part of my being, but I recognize that I have fucking value, even if I hate myself. Ugh gross.

  25. damianhammontree says

    How is this jackhole *30 years old*??

  26. pixelunicorns says

    What the hell is wrong with people?! You can’t just get rid of other peoples stuff because you don’t understand biology. I don’t even know what I’d say to a person like that, maybe just leave some pamphlets and a receipt of what he owes her for the products he got rid of.

  27. PsychoKatzee says

    That man is insane, stupid, and cruel. I hope the woman leaves him.

  28. Fairwhetherfriend says

    There are more red flags here than a communist parade. It honestly kind of doesn’t matter that this is about a diva cup or whatever. His ignorance of the female body is a problem, sure, but it’s nowhere near the main issue with his behaviour.

    You don’t throw away your partner’s stuff without talking to them about it. Ever. In literally no situation is that *ever* a normal or acceptable thing to do. I don’t give a fuck *what* you might find in your spouse’s stuff – even if it’s something that it’s completely valid and normal to get upset about, you still need to *talk to them* about it.

    Like… if he’d found some kind of unsecured gun in OP’s nightstand and was upset because they have a small child and that’s very dangerous, it would be completely valid for him to have been upset and gotten rid of the gun immediately. But even if that situation, I’d consider it a massive fuck-up on his part if he hadn’t come to speak with her about it afterwards. It’s honestly not really about the fact that it was a diva cup. It’s not even really about the fact that he was wrong to get rid of the item (though, to be clear, he was). The biggest issue, IMO, is that he didn’t say anything before or after throwing away her shit. If he’s unhappy with her behaviour, he needs to talk to *her* about it.

    This passive-aggressive and controlling “I’m going to throw away your stuff and not tell you” bullshit is absolutely not acceptable behaviour from a spouse, no matter what stuff is being thrown away. The fact that he threw away a diva cup because he’s a dumbass is just the cherry on top.

  29. oboeplum says

    Misunderstandings aside, fucking *run* from that dude. If you wanna rub one out without your partner you’re allowed to do that, they’re not entitled to your pleasure.

  30. Keboyd88 says

    I don’t always recommend divorce based on one anecdote about the relationship, but when I do, it’s because that anecdote was this fucking bad. Girls needs to pack her bags immediately and go literally anywhere but there.

  31. J_Ihnen says

    People usually say reddit is way too quick to jump into leaving the person who wronged op, but I think in this case the husband shows clear signs of not even accepting op’s follow up to his bullshit…

    In conclusion OP should get a divorce, someone who isn’t willing to hear anything but their own opinions is someone who could get abusive really quick

  32. larrythe_fisherman says

    He’s an abusive asshole that’s coercing her into having sex and depriving her of her basic needs.

  33. kigerting says

    So she’s just had an invasive surgery for a very painful disease and she comes home and her husband makes her…….feel guilty for it?!?!?! As if she isn’t in pain enough?

    “but she won’t help my pee pee” ass little boy
    Immediate whole man disposal – I would sentence him to be stood before an audience of thousands of women to be ridiculed.

  34. IrisIridos says

    Wtf what kind of an asshole treats their spouse like that

  35. shep-aard says

    She’s only 24. She should get out of this relationship ASAP, as she has plenty of time left to build a new and fulfilling life with someone who actually respects her and her needs. I hope for her sake there are no kids involved, because it makes it a LOT easier to walk away…

  36. Mander2019 says

    I have to wonder what guys like this are like the rest of the time

  37. Minerva472 says

    Just bleed on everything he owns

  38. onlynatural639 says

    apart from him not knowing how menstrual products work i cant believe a 30 year old man is acting like such a child

  39. ourstupidtown says

    This is abuse. Period. I’m so tired of how normalized abusive relationships are to the point where massively abusive behavior isn’t recognized as abuse

  40. Th3n1ght1sd5rk says

    Wow, there are so many red flags here, i don’t think it’s sad – it’s downright sinister. No respect for a woman’s right to choose when to have sex. No empathy for his wife after she’s had surgery. No respect for his wife’s right to own her own property. No understanding of female biological functions. Clear attempt to manipulate his wife’s behaviour by coercion and control, and to punish and humiliate her by denying her necessary hygiene products. Refusal to listen to his wife’s point of view. Make no mistake, he OWNS her and her vagina. I hope she runs like the wind.

  41. Randolpho says

    > need advice on what to say to him

    “I want a divorce” sums it up well.

  42. enumaelisz says

    this will end with divorce sooner or later. this guy is red flags, if she will forgive him this (wow) then at some point I am sure he will do something else, equally or more, idiotic.

  43. Welps_Helps says

    People often joke about divorce when they see posts like this but this is legitimately grounds, he’s throwing a fit because he can’t get laid like a teenage boy

  44. anonbonbon says

    This has big ‘potential for domestic violence’ vibes to my (trained) eye. I hope that people were warning the OP that this is some controlling AF shit and that she needs to make a safety plan.

  45. Jamangie22 says

    Jesus Christ, this is why we need comprehensive sexual education in school. It’s hard for me to care anymore that some parents think it’s “too explicit” or their kids are “too young” when they obviously aren’t educating them at home. Their failure as parents creates more ignorant and sexist adults like this. Just because they can be inserted into a sexual organ, there is nothing sexual about menstrual products like tampons or cups. I’ve never derived sexual pleasure from capturing my menses in a tampon or cup. I’ve even heard from some stupid ass men that bearing children vaginally is supposed to be sexually pleasing for a woman. Like, EXCUSE ME WTF?? Educate your damn kids! I don’t care what religion you are, educate your child about their body and how to care for it, as well as educate them about the body of their potential partner/future children. End rant.

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